Unfortunately, I Am Too Pretty To Quit Instagram

You know it, I know it. Instagram guy with the Hillsong pastor necklace has us by the balls, and he knows it. They could make it so our feeds were exclusively pics of Guy Fieri showing hole, and we would still continue to use this stupid little app.

It’s not even good yet. I know that because the Minions-themed head of Instagram said that.

“It’s not yet good,” he said.

Fine, if you consume content with a genuine interest in people’s babies or their ugly engagement rings, and you’re ready to quit, you’re better than me! Whatever! But be serious. BeReal and TikTok, even Twitter, don’t quite scratch the attention-seeking itch of Posting To The Grid. Instagram being largely full of cheap sponcon and influencers isn’t going to change the urge to post we’ve drilled into ourselves.